Wide Awake

 

 

By : Nikki Savage

 

I feel like I have experienced an awakening over the last few years.  I thought that would be like a huge “Aha” moment.  Like it would be something that I would wake up to and just understand and know what to do.

 

Nope.  Instead I am just wide awake and feeling tired.  There is this part of me that wishes to cling to the sleep a little longer, hell maybe even forever.  My bed is so warm.  And it’s so damn cold outside.

 

I know that isn’t how I should feel.  But it is how I do feel.  It is like waking up to all that is important in life and realizing none of those things are valued within the systems in place in society.  I mean outwardly in a marketing sort of way, it seems the media and corporate advertising will be on board with our common values but we know they just want the sale.  We know everything is revolving around money.  And we know money means nothing when we test its value up against our hearts, our integrity and our truth.  But yet we still depend on money as a measure of our worth in this culture and as a means of survival.  We all gotta eat.

 

I often ask Siri how to dismantle the system.  (Side note:  If I go missing, this may be why…) She usually doesn’t have an answer for me.  But this week she pointed me to a YouTube video by Russell Brand on how to dismantle the system and start a revolution.  I haven’t watched it yet.  But I do wonder what it will say.  I’m hoping it will tell me how we stop our schools from teaching to the test for funding and instead inspire our kids to think for themselves.  I want to know how we stop a healthcare system that allows people to go bankrupt because they are sick.  I want to know how we stop our political party system from preying our our divisions to distract us from the real issues instead of finding common ground and fixing those issues.  Because I know we can fix them.  I know there are more of us who want to fix these problems than who want to stay divided.   And I really want to know who is actually at the top pulling the strings so I can cut their strings to shreds before the weight of this world is set upon our children.

 

That’s is where my awakening has taken me.  But, to be fair, it also has taken me to a place where I have felt and understood our oneness, where I have become aware of what unconditional love means, where I have found my deepest truths and accepted them all.  I have found my personal integrity, my most solid center and have chosen to live with a vulnerable, soft heart dead set on being authentically and unapologetically me.   Now that I am writing it out, I guess I would say that is worth it.  Right?  Yeah.  Being fully awake to the love in my life is worth being awake to the ugly too.   It is the only way to understand Truth.  And I suppose the only thing to do once we awaken is to each live our own Truth best that we can and do what we can to help others find and express theirs.

 

I’ll stay awake.  And I will trust that this awakening will reveal a path to creating something better in these times.   But how long before I stop itching to hit snooze?

 

Anyone else feeling this?  Let me hear your experiences in awakening to what is most important in your life.  Have these experiences changed you and, if yes, how?

 

 

 

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